Post by Trinity Luther on Apr 16, 2008 16:12:18 GMT -5
This came directly off the online Harry Potter Lexicon....I don't think JP wrote it...I believe it's a parody that some genius person wrote who I pray the Lord above blesses for the rest of their life....
* Headmaster Dumbledore reminded all faculty that Hogwarts will be under heightened scrutiny during the Triwizard Tournament, and staff were reminded to extend the utmost courtesy to our foreign guests, Ministry officials, and members of the press. Prof. Snape and Prof. Moody each made a statement about Headmaster Karkakoff of Durmstrang that they declined to repeat for the record. Prof. Snape inquired as to the status of the investigation of the irregularities surrounding the selection of the Triwizard champions. Headmaster Dumbledore reviewed the security procedures that were implemented during the Champions' selection, and reported that no clues have as yet been unearthed as to how this security was breached. Prof. Moody stated his opinion that the selection of Harry Potter (4th year Gryffindor) indicated that powerful dark forces were afoot, and requested everyone to maintain "constant vigilance." Prof. Snape stated, in his opinion, that Potter and Potter alone was responsible for what he termed "the Goblet of Fire fiasco," and moved (for the 29th time) that Potter be expelled from Hogwarts. Motion was tabled.
* Prof. McGonagall asked for the faculty to review proper student disciplinary procedures, running from the least restrictive (losing points, detention) to most restrictive (expulsion). All interventions must be properly documented. Hogwarts was cited and fined two years ago when a previous Defence Against the Dark Arts professor caused the bones in a student's arm to disappear. She reminded staff that Transfiguration of students as a consequence of inappropriate behavior is strictly prohibited. Prof. Moody objected, claiming that spending 15 minutes as a rodent would teach a recalcitrant student more than a week of detention. Headmaster Dumbledore suggested that Prof. Moody lobby the appropriate Ministry officials if he wished to advocate for a change in this policy. Until then, only approved disciplinary procedures may be enacted.
* Several professors expressed some concern over the placing of two unemployed house-elves on the payroll. There was some worry over the effect on the budget and Hogwarts' reputation. Headmaster Dumbledore reassured staff that the two house-elves in question were fully trustworthy, and would be unlikely to instigate any seditious undertakings. Prof. Snape still expressed concern over the precedent being created, and further noted that Hermione Granger (4th year Gryffindor) was contributing to the elves' unrest by distributing subversive literature on their behalf. He moved (for the 19nd time) that Ms. Granger be expelled. Motion tabled.
* Headmaster Dumbledore expressed concern over budgetary overruns in the following departments: Care of Magical Creatures, DADA, and Potions. Mr. Hagrid attributed his Department's budget overrun to an unexpectedly high death rate among the Blast-Ended Skrewts, but assured the faculty that the population has now stabilized. It was noted that Prof. Moody ordered an unusually large supply of Polyjuice Potion, which he insisted was essential for the curriculum he is currently utilizing. Prof. Snape attributed the greater part of his department's budget expenses to replacing cauldrons and other materials ruined by Neville Longbottom (4th-year Gryffindor). He moved (for the 11th time) that Longbottom be expelled. Motion tabled.
* Madam Pomfrey stated that the Blast-Ended Skrewts, currently being raised in Care of Magical Creatures, have resulted in a 263% increase in visits to the infirmary for lacerations, bruises, and first and second-degree burns. Mr. Hagrid pointed out that there were no incidents of third-degree burns, and that many students found the creatures "cute." Several professors asked what they were being raised for, and Mr. Hagrid replied that the Skrewts have several important uses. He was still researching their most important use. Staff narrowly voted to allow Mr. Hagrid to continue raising the Skrewts until the end of the current school year. At that time, their status will be re-evaluated.
* Prof. Binns stated that he is still having 4.7 Galleons deducted each pay period for health insurance, despite the fact that as a ghost, he is no longer is at risk for illness or disability. Madam Pomfrey confirmed that Prof. Binns has not been seen in her infirmary since his acquisition of post-biological status. Headmaster Dumbledore promised to bring the matter to the attention of Payroll.
* Prof. Flitwick and Prof. McGonagall stated that the Yule Ball Committee will hold its first meeting a week from Wednesday. All volunteers are appreciated!
* Several professors expressed concern over Prof. Trelawney's continued absence at these faculty meetings. Headmaster Dumbledore acknowledged these concerns, and reminded faculty that he has spoken to her about her non-attendance on several occasions. She claims that she wishes to attend, but certain unfortunate planetary alliances forbid it. Headmaster Dumbledore begged for the faculty's continued indulgence of Trelawney's eccentricities, and reminded everyone that her record of two accurate predictions has made her Hogwarts' most successful Divination Professor in over three centuries.
* Headmaster Dumbledore reminded staff that Hogwarts' owls are to be used for official purposes only. Staff were reminded to use their own owls for all personal correspondence.
* The first-floor girls' restroom on Gryffindor continues to be in disuse. Headmaster Dumbledore stated that its repair is not in the budget this year.
* Prof. Snape moved (for the 15th time) that Ron Weasley (4th year Gryffindor) be expelled. He refused to cite a specific reason. Motion tabled.
* Next meeting is scheduled for 11/29/95
____________________________________________________________________________
November 15, 1995
In Attendance
Headmaster Dumbledore - Hogwarts' Headmaster;
Prof. Binns - History of Magic; Prof. Flitwick - Charms;
Mr. Hagrid - Care of Magical Creatures;
Prof. McGonagall - Transfiguration; Prof. Moody - Defence Against the Dark Arts; Madam Pomfrey - Nurse; Prof. Sinistra - Astronomy; Prof. Snape - Potions; Prof. Sprout - Herbology
Absent
Madam Hooch - Quidditch; Prof. Trelawney - Divination;
Vector - Arithmancy
In Attendance
Headmaster Dumbledore - Hogwarts' Headmaster;
Prof. Binns - History of Magic; Prof. Flitwick - Charms;
Mr. Hagrid - Care of Magical Creatures;
Prof. McGonagall - Transfiguration; Prof. Moody - Defence Against the Dark Arts; Madam Pomfrey - Nurse; Prof. Sinistra - Astronomy; Prof. Snape - Potions; Prof. Sprout - Herbology
Absent
Madam Hooch - Quidditch; Prof. Trelawney - Divination;
Vector - Arithmancy
* Headmaster Dumbledore reminded all faculty that Hogwarts will be under heightened scrutiny during the Triwizard Tournament, and staff were reminded to extend the utmost courtesy to our foreign guests, Ministry officials, and members of the press. Prof. Snape and Prof. Moody each made a statement about Headmaster Karkakoff of Durmstrang that they declined to repeat for the record. Prof. Snape inquired as to the status of the investigation of the irregularities surrounding the selection of the Triwizard champions. Headmaster Dumbledore reviewed the security procedures that were implemented during the Champions' selection, and reported that no clues have as yet been unearthed as to how this security was breached. Prof. Moody stated his opinion that the selection of Harry Potter (4th year Gryffindor) indicated that powerful dark forces were afoot, and requested everyone to maintain "constant vigilance." Prof. Snape stated, in his opinion, that Potter and Potter alone was responsible for what he termed "the Goblet of Fire fiasco," and moved (for the 29th time) that Potter be expelled from Hogwarts. Motion was tabled.
* Prof. McGonagall asked for the faculty to review proper student disciplinary procedures, running from the least restrictive (losing points, detention) to most restrictive (expulsion). All interventions must be properly documented. Hogwarts was cited and fined two years ago when a previous Defence Against the Dark Arts professor caused the bones in a student's arm to disappear. She reminded staff that Transfiguration of students as a consequence of inappropriate behavior is strictly prohibited. Prof. Moody objected, claiming that spending 15 minutes as a rodent would teach a recalcitrant student more than a week of detention. Headmaster Dumbledore suggested that Prof. Moody lobby the appropriate Ministry officials if he wished to advocate for a change in this policy. Until then, only approved disciplinary procedures may be enacted.
* Several professors expressed some concern over the placing of two unemployed house-elves on the payroll. There was some worry over the effect on the budget and Hogwarts' reputation. Headmaster Dumbledore reassured staff that the two house-elves in question were fully trustworthy, and would be unlikely to instigate any seditious undertakings. Prof. Snape still expressed concern over the precedent being created, and further noted that Hermione Granger (4th year Gryffindor) was contributing to the elves' unrest by distributing subversive literature on their behalf. He moved (for the 19nd time) that Ms. Granger be expelled. Motion tabled.
* Headmaster Dumbledore expressed concern over budgetary overruns in the following departments: Care of Magical Creatures, DADA, and Potions. Mr. Hagrid attributed his Department's budget overrun to an unexpectedly high death rate among the Blast-Ended Skrewts, but assured the faculty that the population has now stabilized. It was noted that Prof. Moody ordered an unusually large supply of Polyjuice Potion, which he insisted was essential for the curriculum he is currently utilizing. Prof. Snape attributed the greater part of his department's budget expenses to replacing cauldrons and other materials ruined by Neville Longbottom (4th-year Gryffindor). He moved (for the 11th time) that Longbottom be expelled. Motion tabled.
* Madam Pomfrey stated that the Blast-Ended Skrewts, currently being raised in Care of Magical Creatures, have resulted in a 263% increase in visits to the infirmary for lacerations, bruises, and first and second-degree burns. Mr. Hagrid pointed out that there were no incidents of third-degree burns, and that many students found the creatures "cute." Several professors asked what they were being raised for, and Mr. Hagrid replied that the Skrewts have several important uses. He was still researching their most important use. Staff narrowly voted to allow Mr. Hagrid to continue raising the Skrewts until the end of the current school year. At that time, their status will be re-evaluated.
* Prof. Binns stated that he is still having 4.7 Galleons deducted each pay period for health insurance, despite the fact that as a ghost, he is no longer is at risk for illness or disability. Madam Pomfrey confirmed that Prof. Binns has not been seen in her infirmary since his acquisition of post-biological status. Headmaster Dumbledore promised to bring the matter to the attention of Payroll.
* Prof. Flitwick and Prof. McGonagall stated that the Yule Ball Committee will hold its first meeting a week from Wednesday. All volunteers are appreciated!
* Several professors expressed concern over Prof. Trelawney's continued absence at these faculty meetings. Headmaster Dumbledore acknowledged these concerns, and reminded faculty that he has spoken to her about her non-attendance on several occasions. She claims that she wishes to attend, but certain unfortunate planetary alliances forbid it. Headmaster Dumbledore begged for the faculty's continued indulgence of Trelawney's eccentricities, and reminded everyone that her record of two accurate predictions has made her Hogwarts' most successful Divination Professor in over three centuries.
* Headmaster Dumbledore reminded staff that Hogwarts' owls are to be used for official purposes only. Staff were reminded to use their own owls for all personal correspondence.
* The first-floor girls' restroom on Gryffindor continues to be in disuse. Headmaster Dumbledore stated that its repair is not in the budget this year.
* Prof. Snape moved (for the 15th time) that Ron Weasley (4th year Gryffindor) be expelled. He refused to cite a specific reason. Motion tabled.
* Next meeting is scheduled for 11/29/95
